Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Communication is the KEY

Communication is the KEY, and sometimes we all lose our keys don't we?



I believe that when couples are soul mates, they have the same smile.  I don't know if someone told me that at one point in my life or if I made that up, but that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it!  My husband and I "have the same smile" but man oh man sometimes the only statement that comes to mind is: Women are From Venus and Men are From Mars.  That book title- and statement - is truth in more ways than one... thousand!  And (to toot my own horn) I believe we are good communicators with each other, we speak the same language.  Well, most of the time at least.  This topic of discussion seems to be making its way into most conversations I have had with my girl friends the past few weeks.  And unfortunately, there is no answer, there's no recipe for the perfect relationship.  Actually, I am surprised relationships work as well as they do because there are so many factors that drive us batty from day to day that it's no wonder we take it out on our partners/spouses.

We have a newborn, a toddler, and a preschooler. Life is ROUGH, drama is plentiful and sleep is not. Yet how do we make it day in and day out without World War III on our hands?  Well it helps that my husband is the funniest and a charmer.  But what I find the most challenging is the way in which to successfully communicate.  Thankfully, it's 2017 and there are SO many ways to communicate with one another, we just have to find the right way so we don't lose our ...umm... keys.  In my case, I can't lie, one of my faults is my short temper, I don't try to pretend I have patience, I don't... it's a work in progress, aren't we all?

Thankfully, my husband and I have found that email is the best way to calmly begin discussions that might otherwise end up in disaster.  Thank you technology.  I also find texting to be a great way for me to calmly "talk".  When we first merged cell phone plans, my husband was surprised to see a $600 bill.  When he went to inquire about it, the phone company said we had exceeded the texting limit.  He was surprised to hear I had sent something like 1000 texts in a month... he switched us to an unlimited texting plan right then and there.  Our relationship has been golden since- ha!

Last night however we both got frustrated doing house project together.  We were annoyed at the project, he wouldn't speak, I babbled too much, and we went to bed mad.  Everyone's advice on our wedding day was don't go to bed mad... and we did!  We survived, everything is fine, we have learned our lesson: don't work on house projects together.  Just kidding, life is just a whole lot of lessons, and if it was perfect all the time we would be bored- or Stepfords.

We are lucky to have had some pretty serious curve balls thrown at us the past two years, it has brought us closer and reminded us that golly piffle, life is beautiful, even on the most stormy of days.

I will leave you with a list I've compiled on how to "win" an argument a discussion between you and your spouse.
1. apologize even if you don't think you're wrong
2. buy some flowers (or better yet coerce your husband to buy them for you)
3. wait for him to realize you are/were right- sometimes this may take longer than you'd like to wait
4. put yourself in his shoes
5. fake cry
*all in jest*


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