We checked in at 7am, I was extremely anxious. You see with our first I had gone through 50+ hours of congractions, epidurals, pushing, sleep deprivation, etc before the cesarian. So I didn’t care how, I wanted him OUT. This time, it was a scheduled cesarian. I was terrified of the needles, of feeling the scalpel, of it all— so much so that the anesthesiologist (an angel in disguise) gave me some calming medication in my IV as they started the process.
Little miss wasn’t ready to come out, the dr had to reach up and enlarge my incision to reach her and she was (finally) here! On her due date. She was out! ... and then- silence- an influx of doctors. (where did they all come from? Were they waiting in the wings somewhere?) no one was saying anything, she wasn’t crying. Then suddenly a doctor, thankfully I’ve forgotten her name, started describing what she saw- I didn’t hear a word, I wanted to see her, hold her, cover her in kisses. Prolapsed throat is what I heard. They showed her to me briefly, but I was being stitched up, I was strapped to the table, I barely saw anything. They took her away, I told my husband to go with her. I was terrified. But she needed him. She was brand new!
The rest of that day is a blur. A complete blur. I remember being wheeled into the Nicu, holding her briefly, then taking her away again, standing (minutes? Hours? After being cut open...) you see, she was in the Nicu bed which was tall and I couldn’t see her/touch her without standing. My pain didn’t matter. She was brand new. I was old news.
I don’t remember when I first held her for an extended period of time, but once I did I’m sure I covered her in kisses. The future was unknown and the unknown was terrifying. But as the days and weeks went on, she beat the odds left and right. Her nickname is warrrior princess because golly piffle, she really is.
That day and the fear of the unknown is fading with time. And today, we celebrate our mighty warrior princess, two years later and she is still beating the odds left and right. Thank the lord. God has a plan, and that day, two years ago, I didn’t see it. I am thankful she brought with her His light. Our little Ellielu lights up every room and will continue to teach all of us patience, love, kindness and understanding. She has changed us all for the better.
And today, and for the rest of my days, I will continue to see her, hold her, and cover her with kisses.
Happiest of birthdays, light of my life, ELH